Midnight Sun - A Review by Frank Slagel
Midnight Sun – A Review by Frank Slagel.
Yeah, you’re reading that right. I was challenged to do a review of that new Twilight book, and when do I back away from a challenge.
Again, for copyright purposes, I recreated the cover. Not bad.
Anyhow. Let me start by saying this isn’t my thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with people who read sparkling, angsty fucking vampire love books. But it’s not for me. Give me The Strain, I’m happy.
But I got the book.
Okay, first … am I the only one who didn’t know it wasn’t original. She wrote the book …again. Like it was a rewrite or something. I didn’t read the first book or see the movie, so it was all new to me.
You got this guy with issues. Um, yeah, he doesn’t fucking age and he’s back in high school. I’d be pissy and have issues too. Who wants to always be in high school. Maybe someone that was like all fucking popular and live their life looking back at that shit. Not me and apparently not this Eddie dude. He’s all pasty and shit, for sure he’s gonna get picked on. “Hey buddy get some sun’ sort of thing.
So now there’s this chick. At first he can’t figure out … wait. Did I mention he’s a vampire. If not, I don’t think it’s a spoiler, he’s a vampire. Anyway, back to this guy. He sees this chick, and at first, he can’t figure out why she rubs him the wrong way (Not a sexual thing) he hates her. Even I could tell him why. It’s that third grade shit where girls are yucky and you only pretend to hate them because you like them.
And then … I had to stop. Not because I was bored or it was written bad, but because I felt like a fucking creeper. I’m a grown ass man, I can’t be reading shit from a first person shooter perspective on being all hot and bothered by some teenage girl. That’s just like sick for me. Come to think about it, Ed is like a hundred years old. He’s way too old for the teenage girl. If you break it down, when you read it from the old vampire perspective it’s like creepy, pedophilia shit. Wait. Some old guy lusting some young girl … why is this book allowed to be published.
So, if you’re into that stuff … read it.
But, the book made me think. What if I, Frank Slagel, wrote Silent Victor, the plague from my first person shooter perspective? I mean, everyone knows I don’t have a big role to play until the second book. What if I told my story. I already started. Here’s a sample.
The Silent Victor – From Frank’s FPSP
It was a dark and cold night. Maybe not too cold. It was the end of May, but you never know with May weather. Sometimes it can get chilly at night. But it was night and I was drinking my beer. Maybe it was warm. Not the beer, the weather.
I was outside. I just talked to Kelly, my wife at the time. She was pissed at me for something. Not sure. We always fought. She wanted me to come home. I wasn’t home drinking my beer, I was on base, not wanting to go home. Not because I didn’t want to see my kids but because I didn’t want to see Kelly.
I called my father and he said, “Frank, I can’t talk. I’m busy. I am going to New York in the morning to chase a terrorist who we think wants to destroy the world with a virus.”
That was some serious shit to hear. I told him. Be careful, and whatever he did do not chase the terrorist into the subway. That be the worst place to release a virus.
And that’s my opening, what do you think?